


Sniper's Bad Teeth

by ScientificCorgi



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Arguing, Cute, Fluff, I love his teeth, M/M, Sniper being kind of self conscious, They discuss Sniper's teeth, They're the same as mine, oh no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 14:03:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5419793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScientificCorgi/pseuds/ScientificCorgi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sniper and Spy discuss Sniper's bad teeth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sniper's Bad Teeth

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I wrote this. I came up with it at 2am while I had a killer headache, so really this should not be a thing. Also, sorry about the title and summary. I couldn't think of anything. :/

\--Spy's Smoking Room--

"Mon ami, can you sharpen your Shahansha any quieter? I am trying to read." 

Sniper looked up from the weapon and saw Spy glaring over his book at him, his cigarette low in his mouth.

"Look, mate, I'm hardly making any sound at all!" When Spy wouldn't return to stare at the large brown book, the Bushman tossed the old rag and weapon aside with a clatter. "Fine, I'll do it tomorrow." 

The Frenchman proceeded to read the rest of the chapter of his book, which Sniper presumed to be some old French philosophy encyclopaedia. After a few moments of silence, Sniper straitened his back and got on his feet, then strolled over to lean on the back of Spy's leather chair and look down at the mass of words on the crusty white page. To his surprise, it was English, but English he could not quite understand. Spy was jolted back to reality when he felt Sniper's hot breath down his neck. He jerked his head up to meet the pale complexion of the other man.

"Why are you stood there?"

"I wanted to see what you were reading."

"I didn't even know you could read, Bushman."

Sniper snorted. "I can read, y'know." The masked man cocked an unsure eyebrow. "I can also read body language. I'm not stupid, Spook."

"Monsieur Bushman, if you say you can read, then how come you have never read instructions on how to care for your teeth?"

"Nothing's wrong with my teeth. They're fine." Sniper walked around the chair to stand between Spy and the fireplace. Spy placed the book on the wooden table next to him.

"Let me see."

"What?"

"Your teeth, Sniper, what did you think I meant, underwear?" Sniper's cheeks tainted red with embarrassment. "Forget I said that. Just, come here." Sniper knelt down and rested his arms on the chair's armrest. Spy roughly grabbed his jaw and opened it, revealing the assortment of sharp canines and incisors. He ran his fingers across the top of the crooked teeth and scrunched his face in disgust. "Good Lord, Bushman, they are at 90° angles!"

"Spook."

"These are one of the worst sets of teeth I have ever-"

"Spy. Shut up. At least I don't have fake ones."

"At least mine do not portray my sexual preference." Sniper closed his mouth and wore a confused expression. "Not straight."

"Shut up, wanker." Spy sighed a breathy sigh and crossed his arms.

"When was the last time you brushed your teeth?"

"This morning, I'm not an animal!"

"Well, you piss in a glass jar and throw it towards people, I would hardly not call you an animal." The Frenchman, feeling satisfied with his remark, moved his hands towards his book, but before he could pick it up, Sniper swatted his hands away.

"I do have a sharp large knife in this room and it could easily go down your throat." 

"Yes, but you love me too much to do that." Sniper began to speak but realised that what Spy was saying was the truth. "By the way, when was the last time you had your teeth checked?" Having no answer, the Bushman looked down and shrugged. "May I suggest making an appointment with the Medic some time this week-"

"No."

"Come on Sniper, Medic is a friendly man. I'm sure he would be happy to see you. It must get lonely down in his office-"

"He's shagging Heavy, I'm pretty sure he's not lonely." Speechless at Sniper's comment, Spy and Sniper sat in an unpleasant silence for five minutes. "I'm sorry."

"You should be. Misha is a lovely man and him and the Medic are in a happy relationship."

"Will it shut you up?"

"To sort out those teeth of yours? Yes."

After consideration, Sniper replied, "Fine."

"Thank you." Spy smiled and leant down to kiss Sniper's forehead. "Filthy Bushman. I don't know why I chose you to be in a relationship with."

"It's because no one else loves you. And I'm sure I make up for it." Spy snorted and picked up his book again.


End file.
